10 Surprising Things People Grieve – {Got Grief?!}

I am convinced that millions of people are walking around oblivious to the fact that they are grieving. Are you one of them? There are several life experiences that can lead to deep grief. – Here’s a list of ten things people grieve that may surprise you.

1 – People grieve the loss of their ex.

Gaining an ex can be heartbreaking, but losing an ex can be traumatizing. This loss is usually a secret trauma. It’s a loss one feels like they shouldn’t have. A shameful grief occurs. A loss they’re not allowed to mourn.

Some may be confused. “Why am I so sad? We dated ten years ago.”

Still others feel like they’re keeping a secret from their current partner. They keep their sadness tucked away.

Grieving the death of an ex is perfectly normal and quite common. It’s okay to recognize your sadness and call it what it is… grief.

2 – People grieve their old figure.

Ever look at an old photo and realize that five years ago, when you thought you were fat, you weren’t. In fact, you were HOT. 🔥

Oh, how you long to look like that again.

I get it, and so do a lot of people.

We’re grieving that thing we no longer have; that thing we didn’t miss until it was gone. It’s the thing we didn’t know to appreciate while we had it. And now… the grief is real.

If you’re not careful, this unrecognized grief will lead to self-loathing and disdain. It’s very important to look at that photo and honor who you were. Then, remind yourself that the girl in the mirror is just as valuable as the girl in the photo.

Don’t make the same mistake you made before. Learn to appreciate the girl in the mirror.

3 – People grieve a future that never happened.

Oh boy! You’re not alone on this one. The only thing is, there was no denying that I was grieving. When I graduated high school, I though life was easy. You just had to do your best.

When I got married, I thought love solved problems.

When I bought my first house, I didn’t know about the recession coming.

When I had my first child, I didn’t know I’d lose him at twenty.

Losing the future you were positive would happen isn’t fun. But, the first step to take when life sucks is to admit it. Really, just admit. Saying, “It could always be worse,” doesn’t make your situation any better. Admitting it and choosing to do something makes your situation better.

Say this to yourself – “My life isn’t what I thought it would be. It’s okay to grieve. It’s also okay to choose how to respond.”

Related post: what to do when your life sucks

4 – People grieve a change in their normal.

Changes in our normal routine can send an awkward shock to our system. We didn’t know we were so attached to our daily grind.

Sometimes, the change is positive. We got the job we always wanted. We got a new home. Lost fifty pounds. But, still something’s wrong. We feel a longing and we don’t know why.

Well something is wrong. Things are different. Your “normal” has changed, and you want it back; not because it’s better but because it’s what you know. It’s what’s been a constant in your life. In a strange way, it provided comfort.

Friend, be careful not to run back to what you know. Familiar doesn’t always mean better. Hold your ground. Remember why the change occurred. Deal with where you are. Adapt. Determine your next best step.

Learn to comfort yourself when your circumstances are uncomfortable. It’s a wonderful skill to have.

5 – People grieve the death of individuals they’ve never met.

John F. Kennedy’s death shocked the world. People remember where they were and what they were doing when they heard of his death. The same goes for the death of Elvis and the passing of Martin Luther King. Sometimes, the shock lasts only minutes, but for most, the pain of loss will linger for days.

There are many reasons for grieving people we’ve never met. Often, there’s something we respected and appreciated about the person. Their position, their talent, their love for their community, etc.

They were givers.❤️

6 – People grieve old hurts.

Think you’ve buried the hatchet? Watch out! Just when you think you’re over it, you find yourself in a situation where you feel like that past hurt just happened.

Someone in your current space did something that reminded you of how you were mistreated as a child. You see an old colleague. You smell a particular smell.

Hurts of the past are quick to come back to haunt us. The key is to not simply deal with the hurt, but to also deal with what’s behind the pain. Doing so will help you navigate future instances of the same type of pain.

You got this!

7 – People grieve a past they were never given.

A home without a father. A mom who died early. An abusive parent.

Siblings who got along. A college experience paid for by mom and dad. Food in the fridge. A bed without bedbugs. Notes in their lunchbox. Beach vacations and summer camps.

They long for what they can’t and can never get. The time is gone.

Until they deal with the loss, they will never understand why they grieve.

8 – People grieve the losses of others.

If you’re an empath, it’s so easy to grieve the losses of others without even realizing it. You may feel pain in your heart, a deep sadness, a longing for things to get better.

Internalizing the pain of others can be an energy sapper. Learning to provide support without using all of your reserves is a learned skill.

9 – People grieve home.

Excited to leave home? That’s what they all say! But, a large percentage of people who move to new towns miss their home. They miss ground zero, the place that started it all. Friends and family seem so far away. That home cooked meal. A quick visit or night out on the town are solely missed.

People grieve home.

10 – People grieve the loss of themselves.

A mother staying home with her children may one day find that she’s lost herself. This is a common phenomenon that we can easily recognize. But, what about the top executive, the popular bar hopper, overworked student?

One became lost in their pursuit of stature, the other the pursuit of fun, and the last the pursuit of success. One day they each realized they missed the mark. Reaching outward to fill our lives only leaves us empty and longing for a way back to ourselves.

Related Post: I Felt Lost After My Son Died

What about you? Are there any life circumstances you are secretly or unknowingly grieving? The time to grieve is now. Healing’s waiting for you on the other side.